Outlined effort

JOLLY HO, THE COMIC AND SECODARY ARC OF THE STORY HAS SET SAILS! SHE'S A FINE SHIP INDEED!

.308 and a badass mofo.

So, as it appears, I've been tracked down by my arch nemesis:
Child protective services.

The just can't leave it, what I did to that girl!
She said, that she was 18, and she said yes!

Andother round passes my head and hits the rock. They musta be having a SVD or some shit.
I WANT THE SVD GODAMMIT.

I jump from the safe cover of the rock, make a run for another and get shot in the leg.
I thank thy for protective armor, but man, that hurts.

I see a guardman standing ontop of a trailer next to me, I pop a cap (literally) in his ass, and procceed upward to snatch is dragunov.

It was a fine model of 1987 dragunov, with no sights whatsoever and a new foward grip. Just like I imagined in my (wet)dreams!

I aimed down the (godly) sights and pulled the (sexy) trigger, emitting a (pants-creaming) click noise. Shortly followed by (orgasmic) bang sound, as the 7.62 left the (steaming hot) Dragunovs 620mm barrel 830 meters per second, ready to pierce someones head, to produce fine bloody (fapping) material.

So anyway, long story short, I was in love with my dragunov, stuck my ... up the wrong hole and she didn't want to cooperate anymore. She was broken.

I ran through the Red forest in despair, followed by all sorts of weird creatures, that wanted to steal my nasal virginity, untill I reached a contraption, made from fine steel wire and awesome.

It was a fence. With hole in it and dead bodies all around.

I thought, that what could be the worst thing, that could possibly happen, came to conclusion, and said to myself, how bad can it be.

And took a step into the darkness.

Also I'm gonna sue those fuckers, who made this nightvision.

.308 and and a backbag. pt1

I checked over my equipment, dropped everything unessecery, reloaded all my weapons, checked the map and was ready to roll.

It's time to pay the Red Forest a visit! HOOT HOOT!

Due to me getting killed(read: crash) if I get close to or stay close to Freedom base, for longer that 0.003 milliseconds, I knew, I had to be fast. I unweld my FAMAS, and put... well, pedal to the metal, and used my own farts as a speed boost.


*camera fast fowards to Freedom outpost, onto two freedomers chatting*
Boris: So, Vasja, I heard, that there's a large force of Monolith coming. You got enough socks to pull it off?

Vasja: Anus.

Boris: Facinating!

*a reddish toned blurred blob wooshes past Vasja, slitting it's throat*

*Boris bends over Vasja, checking him*
OH MY GOD YOU LIED TO ME, YOU'RE A MAN!


*Camera zooms back to main character*

12 feet more, and I'm outta this outpost!

5 more!
3!
2!
1!
I DID IT FUCK YE-

loading...

So I reach the red forest. Not as red as advertised, eh?

It's more like blueish. Wait.
*PHSEeeew'

Ahh, that's more like it.

I walk foward, untill I notice a campfire. I remember, that it's a bad country, so I sneak behind the rocks to my left. I scout out two monolith guys, sitting by the fire. I equip my VSS, and give it a coinflip, wich guy should I shoot first. I pick the dude looking in my general direction and squeese my pointyfinger and the...

*awesome camera zooming effects to fireplace*

Monolith 1:Итак, если вы говорите кандлешак, он придет и примет вас немедл-
Monolith 2:Да, это правда.

OH MY Бог, Игорь, ВЫ хорошо?

*awesome camera zooming effects to main characters gun's operational end*

...exept I'm having it, so I fired another shot, at the now-suspecting...

*Camera zoom effect to fireplace*

Monolith 2:

Игорь, Игорь, это чертовски, ответьте мн-
*camera zoom effect back to main caracter*

... and that's the story of my third experience with the so called "Ben-Gay". Okay, I think, that it was the last dude, so I proceed my way towards the zone. Untill, I see strangely lit area.
It must be the monolith patrol!

I pull out my 'sniper'(more like 'silenced') LR3000, and peek around the fence.
It was a monolith exoscelecton. I pop a cap in his ass and see another 'flashlight' coming down the road.

I can't risk with the 'sniper' LR3000, so I take out my VSS, and give the 'flashlighty' dude a new hole in the head.

I loot the corpses for extra 5.56 ammo, wich I have 800 something rounds by now and make my way towards the unknown.

Suddenly I hear a bang from the direction unknown, and something whizzles past my head and hits the rock nexst to me.

I dash behind some rock, and ready my VSS.

Pink is my favorite crayon.

I decided to redecorate my little tower to make it more cozy.
And what makes a creepy tower in the middle of bloodthirsty bloodsucking bloodsuckers cozyer than some fireballs? Sex, that's what. But since there's no women in the Zone area, I had to go with fireballs.

Following few nice shots of my little, humble tower:




That one on the left was a REAL pain in the FUCKING ass to get in this TIGHT ASSED position. It kept falling off the damn place. But it was worth it, thanks to the wonders of dynamic lightning it looks like sex. Exept I have it!

So as I was photographing, I get this weird phenomenom: My screen goes blurry, like I pissed all over my glasses.


Since there was a blowout before I started taking these pictures, I made the logical conclusion: My arch nemesis: CONTROLLER ,MOTHERFUCKER!

I pop my HK 417 or whatever out from the window, looking for the viewmesser, when I see not a controller, but a dwarf. And not a dwarf but 2 fucking dwarves, 4 fucking bloodsuckers and a fucking controller with a zombie!

I pop the dwarf in the head, four times, untill I move to my little toybox, to grab my not-so-toy RPG.

I Took the second rocket, ran outside, yelling out a horrible battlecry:

GET THE FUCK OFF MY LAWN YOU DAMN KIDS!

It worked: Every bloodsucker and dwarf withing 3 blocks came to me, running. I shot out the first rocket

Phseeeew KRASHBOOOM

No more dwarves.

I reload the second rocket, turn around and again PSHEEEW goes the fireworks.
I killed 2 bloodsuckers, running over the hill.
I dispose the now-useless RPG, it was low quality anyway, and pull out my Prototype G3, that I got off real cheap price of 7500 rub from Sid.
If ya wanna feel like a kid in candyshop, come to me, Sid!
Special unique offer now: One free grenade for every 200 round purcaced!

I send 5 rounds flying downrange, into the head of a bloodsucker, succesfully killing him, when I suddenly hear a roar from behind. I turn around, opening fire into the face of a bloodsucker ready to suck. Yeah, suck my lead!

World spins around me and my rifle, as I emty mag after mag, when suddenly

*click* *click* *click*

I stand there, heavily breathing, the fog of war, wraping around me, smoke coming from the operational end of my gun, joining the fog, and the very last casings hit the ground:

*dling* *dling* *dling* *da-ling*

The tall figure standing infront of me, eyes glowing through the fog. Suddenly a roar, and the figure falls to it's knees and then:

*Thud*


I Lower myself to knees, drop my rifle, that feels too heavy, I take off my helmet, that tunnels my vision, and I start breathing again. A Moonray shines through the thick fog.


Battle is won, I won, I'm still alive, I can go.

Suddenly a pain hits my head, I can't see, I only scream.
I look up and I realize, that I frogot the controller.

I pick up my rifle and leg as fast as I can, as lightning starts it's war with the ground, I run as fast as I can, away from this dreaded place, into the safety of a nearby farm. I run in, turn off nightvision, drop my rifle. I slide down off the wall, into a sitting position and fall asleep.

As I wake up, I have a idea. Yes, I may even make it!
"I will, I will do it!" I yell, as I throw my fist in the air. Wich hits the roofbeam, and I hurt it batly. I grab my fist and start shaking it.
Fucking UPS, it should have some knuckes!

The Shadows of Chernobyl

Ok, Duty leader, or as I like to call him "General Accent" gave me a mission to hunt down a destroy a bandit. He gave me no hints, to where he would be, so I checked my PDA. PDA had no marker, but it centered him somewhere around Agrom or whatever institute.

So there I was, in the Agrom fucker. As I approach it, in the middle of the night, scouting with binocs, I spot suspectingly little enemyies. Or any humans at all.
I approach the West gate, seeing supeciously lighted post, I recognize it as the army patrol. At that point, I know, that there wouldn't be any bantits at all, or anything else besides the army.

I jump on a tree, trying to get their heads over my cross in my scope, when I hear some chatter from left. After I saw a now-dead-solider the army patrol went patrolling.

I fast foward this story now to a point where I've dealt with duty patrol, am sitting up on the centre building roof and aiming furiously theough my scope, looking for army men.

So I walked around, looking for anything that moves, to make it stop moving.
I check my minimap, and I notice two things: A)there was a big red dot, right under me
B)My visiblility bar was rising.

I make the logical conclusion, jump away from the edge, so my visibility bar goes down, and scope over the ledge again, to find that dot.
I see a pair of legs. The dot appears to be sleeping! It can't see me, it's head ain't ever in the right spot!
Then visibility bar rises again, and I duck for cover.

I am tempting to yell "STOP LOOKING, YOU PERVERT". Moments later I look over the ledge, and start looking for the looker.

Then I see this:
Can you see it?

It's an Izlom, the fucker I've been (literally) Dying to meet!

I turn around, and visibility meter rises again.
I hit the deck. After meter ground zeroes, I stand up, and see it moving into a house. The very same one I'm standing ontop.

I quickly pull out my silenced ZM300000, and find the shadowest shadow.

I sit there, hearing some gibberish. After some time goes past and I don't hear gibberish I move towards the ledge again. But I move too close, and I fall down, sending some loud noises.
I duck my self into the nearby barrack, and see the owner of the pair of legs, whirling on ground, in pain. I pat him on his shoulder, stand up, pulling out my USPc, and doing what modern medicine should do sometimes: Mercy kill.

I move further inside the barrack when I hear some noises going "Omnomnomnomnom" I peek out from the window and what do I see: The fucker is eating dinner! Suddenly he stops eating and starts mumbling again. I realize: I've been spotted.

I find another shadow and duckrun into it. It's near the lockers, on a bedroll. Out of the blue, the Izlom storms in, running in the middle of barrack. Lucky of me, he didn't hear the sound of 5 bricks hitting the bedroll.
After some time he runs out from the house again. I sneak towards
the door and I see this:

The izlom is standing in the doorway.
I wait there, trying to breath as silent ass possible, as the izlom slowly backs up.

I put my head outside the door, seeing, that izlom goes behind the big building infront of me.

I quicly move into the command building and move to the roof, trying to snipe him down. Then it starts to rain heavily and I move inside the house. Sitting there, thinking what I should do, I hear the izlom gibberish and feel the weight of a brick in my pants.

I sit there, untill I feel it's time to either jump down from the roof(wich is stupid, since there's a pefectly good ladder there) or clean the house, SWAT style, motherfucker!

I take out my USP, hoping that 8 hydroshock rounds would be enough, I walk through the whole building, zigzag, seeing it izlom free. After I've done that, I've come to a decision. I will hunt down the fucking izlom and shoot it's pretty face up! I take out my FAMAs prototype(It's a good gun, tough you can empty a mag in just about 2 seconds) and turning out my nightvision, since it's dawn!

I walk around the headquarters, seeing no izlom, I walk around the big building, no izlom.
It's time to check the insides.
I enter the big building, and I gulp. It's dark. I turn on my flashlight. Only half of the room is lit.
I gulp and take steps foward, thinking how fucked I am, if Izlom is in a corner. After light hits the wall, I let out air in my lungs in relief. No izlom.

Now 2 more buildings to go!
I check them also, I even check the damn HQ, no izlom.

As I stand on the roof, wind blowing around me, I yell the words of hate, anger: "I'LL GET YOU YOU FUCKING IZLOM!"

Brick wall.

Few days in future.

As I got myself a silenced and scoped ZM 3000 from MERC outpost, and some weapons, I was ready to return to my tower.

Since I live in Bloodsucker village, I reloaded my P90, and pulled out my SAIGA. 12 buckshots would do. So as I cross the ridgeline of the hill, I see a pair of glowing dots. Knowing what that means, I dash behind a nearby house, looking for a way in. After I found a window big enough for me to fit in, I sneaked around the house, looking for a window to see what that Zoidberg's relative is doing, I step on something. I look down and I see a orchid pistol, wich I pick up and throw in backback. I got more things to worry about.

After I finally found a good overlook over my tower entrance. It seemed to be clear. Silently I moved towards a hole in wall, and slowly moved behind a tree, keeping constant look over the south side of the village. Then I moved from the tree to a big metal bin thingy. As I sat there, carefully planning my next move, keeping eye out for glowing shit, I hear a noise, wich sends chills down my spine: heavy breathing. I peeked out from the bin, but that was a mistake, followed by a loud roar from the other side of the bin. I was shitting bricks as I pulled out SAIGA and started shooting at two glowing dots while backing up. One calsing goes flying with a splatter of blood, second casing goes, third, fourth, fifth ,sixth, seventh and finally the eight. Click, click makes the gun, as a 6 feet tall beast falls to it's knees.

I, forced myself agaist the tree, feel sudden weight of bricks in my pants. I reload. 4 shots is all I have. If I see another one of these, I'm fucked beyond belief. So I walk over the corpse and head into my tower. Nice warm light of fireball greets me, as I get to my floor. I open my toychest and drop new weapons, including that pistol I found and my old ZM3000, wich served no use.

I took some 5.56 rounds, when I hear something. I immiedetly jumped to fireball, and put it in my backbag. I hear steps behind me, staying in shade, hoping not to be spotted, I see a man in suit coming up the stairs. I aim my rifle at his head, when he turns around and stares at me for a fraction of a second. And fraction of a second is what it takes for a round to travel the 4m gap between us. He falls over, dropping his sig, wich, and all of his meds I pick up. I heard someone saying it, downstairs, that means, that there's more of them. I look at his ID card, where I read, that the bastard is from MERC! THE FUCK ARE THEY AFTER!? Especially in this place!?

I look down, where I see somone's shadow on the wall. I carefully decend two flights of stairs, till I think it's safe enough, and leap into the darkness. Sprinting through the two men, I run into the village. As I get behind a house, breathing, I've allready formed a plan. I continue to the South of the village, hoping them to follow me. Hoping them to fire. Then I reach a severly destroyed building, after wich I hear a loud roar and boards being broken. I whisper the words "Thank you!" into the wind, and move inside the house, wich is radiated highly. I find the cozyest corner and have a slice of bread, waiting for gunfire.

No gunfire is heard tough, oh no, something much worse is heard instead. A loud roar in the doorway behind me. Again I feel my pants getting heavy, as I pull out my p90, and pull the trigger, untill I hear a click. I fast reload while I run to East, then return to tower. Why the fuck didn't bloodsucer go to the mercenaries? I run to my tower, pull out my HK 416. Then I notice, that my nightvision is kind of bright. I turn it off, and I see. It's dawn. And some fucker is running around the apple yard.

As the round passes through the mercenaries head, other jumps to cover. I take out my silenced ZM3000, and decend from my tower, leaping through buildings, to hunt down the last remainer, and hoping I won't get hunt down by the last bloodsucker. Violently I scan the area, looking for the fucking merc, who visited my home. When I turn around, and whaddaya know, who's waling on the hill. I aim through my reddot, and make my rifle 10 rounds lighter before the blob on the hill drops and starts rolling down. I shoulder my rifle and peacefully walk towards the fallen.

As I reach it, my hearth stops- merc does not use exoscelectons. Only two who use it are Freedom and *gulp*. Quick invetory check on him confirms it. The world around me collapses. That is, untill I turn around, and see, that I confused two bodies. I take that brick from my pants and slam it against my head, loot the fucker, and head towards the 100rad to have a drink and sell all this crap I've gathered. See you next time, on Living in Chernoby.

Claustrophobia

Location: Dark Valley, under the bridge at the X18 building entrance.
Spot in storyline: One has to recover documents from X18. Borov is dead.
Arsenal: A sig p228, Colt 1911, P99, Benelli M3 short, Ak47 from OL with scope and silencer, AK47 from ArsenOl and USP C

Story:
OK, now I know why my AK has so little ammo. It uses fucking 7.62, and the one I keep looting from bandits uses 5.62. What the fuck, I mean seriously, both are the same fucking AK.
Oh, one is AK47, other is AK74.
I pack my sleeping bag, find the best quality AK74 in my backbag, attach a scope to it, and find out, that it has 800 rounds of ammunition, while my other silenced and scoped AK47 has only 50 rounds.

As I crawl out from the pipe, as it starts to rain.
I hear some talking from the X18 and I smile - the rain makes you silent.
I start to walk towards the building as I pull out my 7.62 AK. I pass the gates and see some bandit singin' in the rain.

Second later he's bleeding in the rain.

I continue towards the right end of the building, and I attempt to climb the broken stairs.
Few moments later I'm up and I continue to the roof.
I pull out my newly found P228 with a silencer attached to it. I spot a hole in the roof and drop through it as the sky turns darker and and electricity hits the ground.

Suddenly the ground starts to shake and sky turns red.
So that's the famous blowout everyone's talking about.
I place myself by the windows and enjoy the wondefull effect of the blowout.
All of sudden, I don't feel so well. I get this ache in my chest and I go blind for few moments.

When I open my eyes up, it's still pure awesome and lightning outside. I get off the ground and hear chatter in the warehouse downstairs.
I peek through the window and see few stalkers chatting 'round the campfire.
I'll deal with them later.
I proceed to the next room, where supposedly was to be a stash full of rounds.
I spend a good minute looking for it.
I get 40 .45, some buckshots and 9x18, wich I don't care for.
As I'm standing there grabbing ammo, I hear barking and roaring.
It must be the pseudodog fuckfaces!
Last time we had a chat, I ran out of 7.62! And they killed my mate!
I check out from the window to see a pack of pseudo- Wait, what's that!? A dog with a fucking glowing ball above it?!

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT!?

I jump on the pipes outside the window, and crawl under the roof, being quiet, so I won't get spotted as the dogs eat those bandits.
I set myself to sit, and open my PDA to find out any information about those dogs.
I did not learn anything about the white ball dog thingy, but I stumbeled upon a intresting article about dwarwes. It said, that they live underground and make your meter go peep and shit. Also they have telekinesis and sixth sence.
I read also alot about zombies and other weird animals, like Izmir or something. It would be awesome to have a chat with those things.
So anyway, the dogs spot me and I decide to grenade them. I aim through the gap in the pipes, pull the splint, throw it and I realize, that it's time to run.
I run as fast as I can on thin I-beams in the ceiling and pop goes the grenade.
The grenade didn't fit through the pipe gap.
I look back, and see, that it was enough to kill the dogs.

I drop down from the pipes and loot the corpses. Dogs did a damn fine job!
Then I go down the stairs and see the door to X-18. I think, rather shall I go there, do what I must and be scared shitless and die. Or I shall just walk back and pay army warehouses a nice visit, get more weapons and then rock back here.

I pick option two. I walk away and I feel, that I can't do this. What will it do to my reputation, if I wuzz out on a simple thing like that?!
I turn around, reload my non 7.62 AK and kick open the door.
Behind the door, I find a rather dark room. I turn off my flashlight, and turn on a flickering, blurry nightvision and place my feet in sneaking position.

Then I decide to change tactics to run and gun, since it's not open area enough, and if there are dwarves here, they can sence me anyway.
I find the stairs and start to walk downwards, when I hear a lound squeek.
I feel a chill, as I proceed downwards.
Suddenly I hear a peep from my dectector, right after that I hear something running with short steps.
That's something new.
I walk into next room, nothing special there, exept crap, garbage, flying boxes and some dead bodies, whom I loot medpacks.

Wait, flying boxes?

I dash in the cover next to me, as boxes crash at the cover.
I run to next room, wich is L shaped and has a long tunnel, full of burners.
Near the start of the tunnel, there's a room with a fireball flying in it.

The manual said to fight fire with fire, so do I, with semi auto 5.62.
After about 2 magazines, I decide, that it's time to stop. I declare the now-abit-angrier-fireball the winner and exit the room, while remembering what was it like the last time I was here.
As soon as I step out from the room, I see a strangely short figure, with eyes glowing like mad behind glass lenses.
We stare at eachother, me in suprize and him in anger.
I hear a roar, and see snork turn into a big blurry blob, nearing me, as I dodge it and feed it with rounds. I turn around to shoot few more rounds in it's face, as it leaps again. I duck and fire it in stomach, making it crash to a wall behind me.
I turn around and stare the corpse.

What the fuck is going on in here.
I move closer to investigate, when I see something flicker in my corner of eye.
I can tell you, that it was the shortets time it's taken anyone to pull a shotgun from backpack and fire.
Between second and third shot, I see, that it's a ghost zombie.
After few more shots in the face, I see the damn thing fall.
Then I proceed to the room I came in. I turn around and see the fucking transparent blue thing again.
I cockslap him and walk around reloading. Then I see one of them - or maybe it was the same zombie AGAIN.
I give him 3 shots in the face, and it falls. I turn around, pumping 3 12gauge back into my shotgun, when I see(well, I don't) a bloodsucker.
I quickly dodge it every way possible, while eating painfull claws with my stomach and giving it some lead for dinner.
Then I die.

Seriously, X18 is the fucking China of mutants.
Every second I was there, I had chills go over my body.
Fuck, I'll go raid Warehouses for grenade launcher, before I go back in that dump!