Pink is my favorite crayon.

I decided to redecorate my little tower to make it more cozy.
And what makes a creepy tower in the middle of bloodthirsty bloodsucking bloodsuckers cozyer than some fireballs? Sex, that's what. But since there's no women in the Zone area, I had to go with fireballs.

Following few nice shots of my little, humble tower:




That one on the left was a REAL pain in the FUCKING ass to get in this TIGHT ASSED position. It kept falling off the damn place. But it was worth it, thanks to the wonders of dynamic lightning it looks like sex. Exept I have it!

So as I was photographing, I get this weird phenomenom: My screen goes blurry, like I pissed all over my glasses.


Since there was a blowout before I started taking these pictures, I made the logical conclusion: My arch nemesis: CONTROLLER ,MOTHERFUCKER!

I pop my HK 417 or whatever out from the window, looking for the viewmesser, when I see not a controller, but a dwarf. And not a dwarf but 2 fucking dwarves, 4 fucking bloodsuckers and a fucking controller with a zombie!

I pop the dwarf in the head, four times, untill I move to my little toybox, to grab my not-so-toy RPG.

I Took the second rocket, ran outside, yelling out a horrible battlecry:

GET THE FUCK OFF MY LAWN YOU DAMN KIDS!

It worked: Every bloodsucker and dwarf withing 3 blocks came to me, running. I shot out the first rocket

Phseeeew KRASHBOOOM

No more dwarves.

I reload the second rocket, turn around and again PSHEEEW goes the fireworks.
I killed 2 bloodsuckers, running over the hill.
I dispose the now-useless RPG, it was low quality anyway, and pull out my Prototype G3, that I got off real cheap price of 7500 rub from Sid.
If ya wanna feel like a kid in candyshop, come to me, Sid!
Special unique offer now: One free grenade for every 200 round purcaced!

I send 5 rounds flying downrange, into the head of a bloodsucker, succesfully killing him, when I suddenly hear a roar from behind. I turn around, opening fire into the face of a bloodsucker ready to suck. Yeah, suck my lead!

World spins around me and my rifle, as I emty mag after mag, when suddenly

*click* *click* *click*

I stand there, heavily breathing, the fog of war, wraping around me, smoke coming from the operational end of my gun, joining the fog, and the very last casings hit the ground:

*dling* *dling* *dling* *da-ling*

The tall figure standing infront of me, eyes glowing through the fog. Suddenly a roar, and the figure falls to it's knees and then:

*Thud*


I Lower myself to knees, drop my rifle, that feels too heavy, I take off my helmet, that tunnels my vision, and I start breathing again. A Moonray shines through the thick fog.


Battle is won, I won, I'm still alive, I can go.

Suddenly a pain hits my head, I can't see, I only scream.
I look up and I realize, that I frogot the controller.

I pick up my rifle and leg as fast as I can, as lightning starts it's war with the ground, I run as fast as I can, away from this dreaded place, into the safety of a nearby farm. I run in, turn off nightvision, drop my rifle. I slide down off the wall, into a sitting position and fall asleep.

As I wake up, I have a idea. Yes, I may even make it!
"I will, I will do it!" I yell, as I throw my fist in the air. Wich hits the roofbeam, and I hurt it batly. I grab my fist and start shaking it.
Fucking UPS, it should have some knuckes!